


Dubious Food

by charaboogity



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Character Development, Cute, Fluff, Folktales, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Koroks, Light Angst, Link Cooking, Medical Mystery, Poisoning, Post-Breath of the Wild, Researcher Zelda, Sick Link (Legend of Zelda), Zelda goes on a quest, could be romantic or platonic, gerudo, zelink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27789901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charaboogity/pseuds/charaboogity
Summary: "Eating it won't hurt you . . . probably."In which Link accidentally poisons himself, and Zelda searches for a cure.(This story takes place after the events of Breath of the Wild, sometime during the restoration of Hyrule.)
Relationships: Link & Zelda
Comments: 32
Kudos: 88





	1. Mushrooms

Link had to have the strongest stomach of anyone Zelda had ever met. The funny thing was, he was actually a pretty good cook, when he wanted to be. But it seemed like more often than not he just wanted to experiment. And his experiments were, well, interesting. Zelda herself enjoyed a good science experiment when there was a reason for it, but Link’s cooking could get . . . a little out of hand.

Sometimes she was convinced he did it on purpose just for kicks. One time, on one of their many treks into the wild, she returned from a river bath to find him hunched over a cooking pot, eagerly stirring something with an ominously putrid aroma.

"What is that?" she asked apprehensively.

"Diced keese eyeball, ground hinox toenail, shredded durian," he replied without looking up, "and some salt and a little butter."

"Are you trying to make an elixir? Because you'll need—“

"Nah," he said. "Just a little stir-fry to use up some ingredients."

"Link, we have plenty of ingredients. If your pack's too full you could just throw those out."

"Yeah, but then I'd never get to find out how they taste together."

She stared at him as he whistled and stirred. "That's not our _lunch,_ is it?"

"Don't worry. I made you an omelet." He gestured to a plate on a rock next to the fire. "This is _my_ lunch. . . . Unless you want some? I'm glad to share."

Deciding (by what standards, she knew not) that the contents of the pot were cooked enough, he scooped them onto another plate.

"Link . . . You _can't_ eat that."

"Yeah?" He grinned. "Just watch me."

Zelda did, reluctantly. At the first bite, Link's face was that of someone who was trying very hard _not_ to make a face. He suppressed a gag valiantly, but Zelda still noticed it. After a few more bites, however, he was eating it as calmly as if it were an apple pie.

"So . . . how is it?" she ventured.

"Not bad. A little strong at first, but it grows on you."

"Mm-hmm. I'll take your word for it." Zelda took a seat upwind to eat her omelet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having grown familiar with Link's cooking antics, Zelda wasn't surprised to occasionally see him messing around with the cooking pot in the castle courtyard. (Apparently the royal chef had banned him from the kitchen unless he promised to follow a recipe.) When she was in the presence of anyone else, Zelda would walk on by, but later her curiosity would get the better of her and she would ask him what he cooked that day. Sometimes, his inventions actually sounded quite edible. Other times she regretted asking.

On one instance, however, it turned out she was very glad she had asked. They were sitting in the library as the sun set, Zelda tracing a copy of an ancient diagram and Link reading a book of Korok folk tales.

"Your cooking smelled pretty good this afternoon," she commented. "What was it?"

"Hmm? Nothing too extraordinary. Just a bit of venison, and some really good mushrooms."

"What kind? Hylian shrooms?"

"No. I don't know. They were yellow."

"Zapshrooms?"

"I don't think so. They had spots."

"Sunshrooms? Or endura shrooms?"

"No . . ."

Zelda listed every yellowish mushroom she could think of, but Link said no to all of them.

"Wait, where did you say you got these mushrooms?" she finally asked.

"I just found them growing behind the castle."

"Link, you can't just eat unidentified mushrooms!"

Link looked completely confused. "Unidentified mushrooms were one of the first things I lived on after I woke up from the Shrine."

"Those were just Hylian shrooms."

"Yeah, but they were unidentified to me. Zelda, don't worry. I do this all the time. I'll be fine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And it had seemed like he was. The night and morning passed uneventfully, and so did the next afternoon as they rode to Kakariko Village for a feast that the villagers had invited them to. Early evening found them sitting among a small crowd of Sheikah in Impa’s spacious front room, joining in the laughter and chowing down on rice balls and stuffed pumpkins.

Zelda hardly noticed the first time Link left the house. He returned only a few minutes later, and she assumed he had just been to the latrine. But when he abruptly stood up again shortly after that, she asked him if everything was all right. He didn’t answer as he hurried out the door.

It took him longer to return this time, and when he did, he was walking slowly, and looked pale. He seemed to sway a bit as he sat down on his cushion next to her.

“Link, are you all right?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he muttered shakily. “Just . . . ate a little too much food.”

Zelda was suspicious. She had seen Link eat loads in a sitting before, without problems. The boy had a metabolism as high as Mount Lanayru. But she let him be and continued to chat with the villagers, hoping he would feel better soon.

Only a few minutes later he got up a third time, half stumbling, supporting himself against the door jamb as he left the house. Distracted from her current conversation, Zelda sat up and wondered whether she should follow him. She saw out of the corner of her eye that Paya had noticed him too, and seemed to be considering the same thing. No, it wouldn’t do to have the poor girl fretting over him; best to take action herself before that could happen. Zelda excused herself and headed out the door.

She found Link on his hands and knees on the riverbank, his face hanging over the water. When he saw her, he closed his mouth and sat back, frowning hard.

“Wh—why’d you follow me?” he said haltingly, almost in a whisper. “I— told you I’m fine.”

“Link.” Zelda knelt down and held her wrist to his forehead. “You’re not fine. You’re burning up.”

“I— just ate too much. Give me— a minute to rest, and I’ll be all right.”

He clearly needed to vomit and didn’t want to do so in her presence. “All right, you stay here then,” she said. “I’m going to see if anyone here has any healing elixirs.”

“Zelda, I don’t need . . .”

She left without listening to his arguments. Reentering the house and making her way around the villagers, she took a seat next to Impa.

“Pardon me,” she said with a quick head bow, “but do you have any healing elixirs? Or know anyone who does? The sort for nausea and fever.”

“Are you well, child?” Impa raised her eyebrows and glanced at the door; clearly she had seen Link’s exit too.

“I’ll be fine,” said Zelda, “but an elixir or two would be most helpful.”

“Of course. Paya!” Impa called the girl over. “Show the princess to the elixir cabinet, please. She’s feeling a little out of sorts. Take anything you need, Your Highness.”

“Is . . . everyone all right?” ask Paya with concern.

“Everything’s fine,” said Zelda. “Just a little stomach upset. Nothing to worry about.”

After evasively reassuring Paya about a dozen times, Zelda finally made her way back to the riverbank, a small bottle in hand. She found Link curled into a fetal position on the grass, his hands over his eyes.

“Link. Can you sit up?”

He slowly lifted himself into a sitting position, scrunching up his eyes against the fading light.

“Here. Take this. It’s the only medicine they have here, but it should help at least a bit.”

She uncorked the bottle and put it in his hand. He lifted it shakily to his mouth and swallowed, cringing. Setting the empty bottle down on the ground, he took a few deep breaths.

“Any better?”

He nodded, and started to push himself up as if to stand. Then, suddenly, he was back on his knees on the riverbank, retching and coughing.

Well. Too late to give him privacy now. Zelda waited, a patient but concerned hand on his shoulder.

“I’m— sorry,” he gasped after a minute.

“What in the world for?”

“I just wasted their medicine.” Link sat back on the grass, still feverish but temporarily relieved from the nausea. “And, uh, I’m sure watching me puke wasn’t what you were hoping to do this evening.”

“No apologizing, silly. Princess’s orders. It was worth a try. And I’m sure my evening isn’t half as spoiled as yours right now. Come on, let’s get you home so you can rest and have some better medicine.”

“But, the villagers—“

“Will be fine,” Zelda interrupted. “They’re kind people. I’ll go excuse us to Impa and get the horses ready.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride back to the castle was torturous. Zelda had considered warping Link home with the Shiekah Slate, but she knew that warping could cause dizziness even in a healthy person, and she was concerned about what it might do when combined with fever. So they took the quickest route possible but rode slowly, with Link slumped over his horse much of the time. The only relief was that soon there was little light left to accost his eyes and aching head. Nevertheless, at one point he apparently passed out briefly and almost fell off his horse, so after that Zelda sat behind him in the saddle, leading her own horse by the reins.

They were not far from home when, passing by a wooded area near Hyrule Field, Zelda noticed a spot of firelight a short distance to their right. She gently reined in the horses behind a patch of trees and waited, listening. Yes, it was a bokoblin camp, and no, she didn’t want to deal with it right now. Normally, Link would have had no trouble fighting off the monsters. And Zelda had been improving her own fighting skills lately, enough that she could probably have fought off a small group like this on her own. But right now she knew that if it came to a fight, Link would try to aid her, and that could be disastrous. Her heart pounding, she directed the horses onto the grassy roadside so their hooves wouldn’t clop, and moved on as silently as possible. Thankfully, the bokos continued their fire dance without noticing them.

She felt a surge of relief as they rode through the castle’s main gate. Directing a servant to stable the horses, she guided a now dizzy and shivering Link to his room, instructing him to go straight to bed and telling him she would send the royal medic to administer elixirs.

“Zelda, I’m sorry,” Link mumbled again as he sat down on his bed.

“I thought I told you no more of that,” she responded.

“I’m supposed to be your bodyguard. But I didn’t even get up when there were bokos nearby. Some bodyguard. If they’d had more lookouts we might be dead now.”

Ah, chuchus. She had hoped he hadn’t been aware of that. “How many times do I have to tell you I can bodyguard myself. And we can bodyguard each other. Nobody has to be strong all the time. Besides, you yourself have said stealth is just as good an option, and I’d say we did pretty well with it back there. Now lie down and get some rest.”

Zelda called for the medic and explained the situation. Then, noticing her own growing tiredness, she went to the elixir cabinet herself and drank an energizing elixir. After that, she headed to the library to investigate something that had been niggling at her mind all evening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was technically early morning by the time she found it. She had pored over every book of plants and herbs that she could find, searching for the image that was so faint in her memory. She was beginning to conclude that whatever book it was in must have been lost to the Calamity, when it suddenly occurred to her to leave the herbs section and turn to the sections on crime and warfare. And there it was, nestled between books about weapons and espionage strategies: an ancient, loose-paged little book about poisons.

She flipped carefully through the weathered pages until she found the illustration that she’d once seen as a girl: a yellow mushroom with purple spots. The colors were almost completely faded, but she could tell by comparing it to the other drawings that it had once been very bright. Below the illustration she read:

_Killshroom_

_Feeding on soil infused with decaying Malice, this extremely rare mushroom is found only in areas where great evils have been destroyed. Do not let its bright appearance or savory scent fool you: it is one of the deadliest poisons known to exist. Not only that, but the delayed onset of its symptoms makes it an excellent choice for untraceable assassinations, if the assassin is lucky enough to have such a rare find in their possession. One to two days after ingestion, the victim will begin to experience fever, pain, and dizziness, accompanied by vomiting. As the symptoms progress, weakness and dehydration will increase, possibly leading to delirium. Death follows in a few days to a week. Although likely to be misdiagnosed and treated as an infectious disease, the symptoms of killshroom poisoning are uniquely resistant to all common elixirs. Since the poison does not cause wounding, it is also unaffected by fairy dust._

Zelda marched to Link’s room and, seeing candlelight under the door, let herself in immediately. She found him more-or-less awake, half-propped up on pillows with a cloth on his head, while the tired-looking medic prepared another elixir in the corner of the room.

“Link.” She held the illustration in front of him. “Is this the mushroom you ate?”

Link squinted at the ancient page before looking up at her. “Yeah,” he said with a weak smile. “That was it.”


	2. The Search

No. No, this couldn’t be happening. She had already almost lost him once; in fact she _had_ lost him, for a hundred years. And then, after everything the reckless fool had survived in the fight against Ganon . . . For him to die now at the hands of his own cooking seemed too ridiculous to be real.

Zelda paced agitatedly in the corridor. She had marched right back out of the room, feeling the questioning eyes of both Link and the medic on her back but choosing to ignore them. She was much too flustered to discuss the situation yet; she needed a moment to sort out her thoughts and figure out if there was any hope, any reasonable next step.

Taking a seat on the stone floor underneath a wall sconce, Zelda opened the book again and reread the paragraph. Was that all the information there was? She turned the page and was relieved to discover that it wasn’t; in fact, there was a whole chapter on the killshroom. Surely it would tell of a cure.

She scanned the following pages. Recipes for disguising the killshroom . . . no. Effects when applied directly to the bloodstream . . . no. Was this book all just about killing people? A history of killshroom usage . . . maybe this section would have something. Zelda read irritably over several stories of ancient nobles, heroes, and villains who were poisoned to death by their enemies. Finally, at the end of the chapter, she found a single story that gave her hope.

_The only person believed to have survived the ingestion of a killshroom was Chief Naqai of the Gerudo. Shortly after assuming the chieftainship, she fell ill after comsuming killshrooms that were placed in her food by a rival for power. Since a servant had observed the act, Naqai quickly learned the source of her illness, and sent for a magician who produced a cure. After her recovery, the assassin was caught and executed._

It wasn’t much, but it was a starting point. Zelda had a whole library at her disposal, and now she knew which section to look in. She stepped back into Link’s room and summed up the information about the killshroom to him and the medic.

“So don’t worry, there is a cure,” she concluded. “I don’t know what it is yet, but just hold tight while I go and find out.”

“Zelda . . .” said Link in a voice much quieter than hers, “I’m sorry I ate those mushrooms. You told me not to. You shouldn’t have to do all this for me.”

Zelda was suddenly exasperated. “For crying out loud, Link, _quit apologizing!_ I didn’t tell you not to until after you’d already eaten them! And if you think for a moment that I’d even consider _not_ doing this for you, then you’re a complete fool!”

“I am a fool. I’m sor— uh . . . I am.”

“No, you’re not.” Zelda took a breath. “You’re . . . _unique,_ that’s for sure, but you’re not a fool.” She rested her hand on his arm. “Just keep on resting and let me do my research. I can solve this.”

Link sighed. “All right. Hey, if all else fails, you can always put me back in the Shrine.”

Zelda wasn’t sure if he was serious or joking, but it was a moot point either way. “The Shrine doesn’t work on the same person twice.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gerudo histories. Gerudo genealogies. Gerudo legends. Zelda scanned through book after book with increasing frustration. Naqai was mentioned here and there, but she certainly didn’t seem to be an important figure in Gerudo history. Her name mostly occurred only in lists, and it didn’t help that she had lived a few thousand years ago. One book, the most comprehensive history book Zelda found, only mentioned that her reign began with “a failed assassination attempt.” Zelda read the section over and over, hoping she had missed some more information, but there was none. None of her research on ancient magic turned up anything either.

So it was that she found herself changing into her most lightweight outfit, strapping a waterskin to her waist, and downing another energizing elixir. As the sun began to climb in the sky, Zelda turned on the Shiekah Slate and warped to the Daqo Chisay Shrine. The surge of lightheadedness as her body evaporated and the wave of nausea as it reassembled gave her a sharp pang of empathy for Link. Zelda remembered how she herself had nearly vomited the first time she had warped. But she was much more used to it now, and the sensation only lasted a brief moment before she stepped down from the shrine and headed to the Gerudo Town gate.

The guards bowed as she passed through, and she greeted them, but did not stop to explain herself. She headed straight to the barracks classroom, where she found Ashai preparing for class.

_“Sav’otta,”_ said Zelda with the best pronunciation she could manage.

“Your Highness!” the teacher replied as she turned around. “How unexpected! What brings you here today?”

“A bit of research, actually. I’m sorry to bother you before class, but it’s rather urgent. I was wondering if you have any historical books in your collection? I’m looking to find out more about Chief Naqai.”

“Naqai?” Ashai looked blank. “I don’t remember which chief that is. I’m afraid I’m not much of a history teacher; I’ve always focused on the practical subjects. But I think there are one or two history books on the shelf there, and you’re more than welcome to borrow them.”

“Thank you.” Zelda scanned the bookshelf and found a few books that looked relevant. One of them turned out to be another copy of the same large text that she had read in the Hyrule Castle library. There was also a simpler history book aimed at children, as well as a very basic book about magic. Neither of those two mentioned Naqai or killshrooms at all.

“Do you know of any other good information sources about your history?” Zelda asked. “Actually, specifically, I’m researching the cure for killshroom poisoning. I read that Chief Naqai was cured of it by a magician, but the book I have doesn’t specify how.”

“A magician?” Ashai looked skeptical. “Perhaps you might talk to Rotana. She’s the one who’s into everything ancient or mysterious. She has a lot of books, too, but I’m not sure how credible they all are . . . Ah, forgive me, Princess, I’m sure you know how to choose which sources to trust.”

“No; you’ve been quite helpful. Thank you. I’ll go speak with her. Could you direct me to her house?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rotana, it turned out, knew the name of Naqai, but didn’t know any more about her than what Zelda had already read. She took a greater interest in the topic than Ashai had, however, and eagerly joined Zelda in searching through her book collection for anything relevant to the topic. They found a few more lists and genealogies that mentioned her, but no more details about the assassination attempt. Rotana also had a few books about ancient magic, but the only magical cures they found were for completely unrelated ailments.

“You know,” said Rotana thoughtfully as Zelda began to flip through the books a second time, “I didn’t remember it at first, but I’m feeling more and more that I’ve heard a story about Naqai before. A long time ago, when I was a child, I vaguely remember some story about a chieftain who . . . traveled a lot? I don’t remember the rest. But the more I think about it, I think her name was Chief Naqai.”

Zelda perked up. “A story? A legend? Is it in one of these books?”

“No,” replied Rotana, “I was told it, I think. Probably by an elder.”

“Is there anyone who would recall the old tales?”

“Hmm. You know what? Muava. If anyone would know it, Muava would.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ah, Chief Naqai. Of course. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that tale.” The elderly woman leaned her back against the wall as Zelda and Rotana sat down on the corners of her mat.

“If you please, I would love to hear it,” said Zelda eagerly. “I’m in need of some important information that be might be found in it.”

“Yes,” said Muava. She seemed peacefully delighted to have someone to tell a story to. “My mother told me the tale when I was young, after I laughed at a traveling Hylian for her strange clothes. She told me I shouldn’t look down on foreigners, because you never know when they might have some wisdom that our own people lack.

“Naqai, she told me, was a Gerudo princess who loved to travel in her younger days. She made many friends and gained wisdom from people in different places. After she became the chieftain, she was poisoned by a cousin who wanted the throne. None of the Gerudo doctors could cure her, not even with fairies, so she sent for one of her foreign friends: an Elderly Child who was skilled in magic. The Elderly Child brought her a cure from her own land, and Naqai was healed and reigned peacefully for the rest of her life. All because she was willing to trust a foreigner.”

“I see,” said Zelda, making a mental note to come back and transcribe Muava’s stories after this mushroom problem was over. “That’s quite a good lesson. But, this magician . . . you called her an Elderly Child? What does that mean? Who was she?”

Muava chuckled. “No one knows who the Elderly Child was. I’ve heard one or two other tales about her. Just short ones, you know. They say she was good at planting, and could make people’s gardens produce better crops. And she once aided a Hylian voe who was lost in the forest, helping him find his way out. But that’s about all I recall. Where she came from or where she went; that’s a mystery.”

“But . . . what was she? Was she a human? How could she be elderly and still be a child?”

“Those are good questions. I always imagined her as a child with an old vai’s face. Now that I think about it, that’s a little creepy, isn’t it? But I suppose I don’t really know what she looked like.”

“You said she brought a cure from her own land,” continued the increasingly perplexed Zelda. “Doesn’t anyone know what it was? Or what land it came from?”

Muava shrugged. “Who knows? It was long ago.”

Zelda stood up. _“Sarqso,_ Muava, you’ve helped me greatly. I’m sure there is someone, somewhere, who knows who the Elderly Child was. Now I must go find them.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zelda wasn’t quite sure where to start, but “Elderly Child” made her think of Purah, so she warped to the Hateno Ancient Tech Lab, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to see if the Shiekah scientist had any input on the subject.

“No, Zeldy,” said Purah, who seemed to be ten or eleven at the moment. Lately, you could never guess what age she might be on a given day. “You know I only developed my anti-aging rune recently. And my age-boosting rune is still being perfected. I couldn’t have been in any ancient legends . . . unless I time-travelled, of course! Which I didn’t. They say it is possible, and I’d like to experiment with it someday, but one thing at a time!”

“Of course, Purah. I didn’t mean it _was_ you. I just wondered if you might know anything about it. Was your research based on anyone else’s? Might anyone have had an anti-aging method in the past?”

“Nope! It’s my own invention! And if I find out someone figured it out before I did, I’m going to be jealous.”

“All right. Look, just to be clear, you also don’t know anything about the killshroom, do you?”

“Never heard of it. This is a tech lab, Zeldy, not a botany lab. . . . No offense, of course,” Purah added, catching herself. “Why do you need to know so bad?”

Zelda sighed. “Just some medical research. Thank you for your time, Purah.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since Purah was no help, Zelda just went back to the same place she always started when she needed answers: the Hyrule Castle library. Ignoring the books on herbs, political intrigue, magic, and Gerudo history that she’d left piled on the tables, she now turned to the section on folklore and ancient legends. She scanned through tale after tale from the Zora, the Gorons, the Rito, and the different human races and tribes, as well as tales of unknown origin. None seemed to mention any Elderly Child. But her experience with Muava had taught her that not everything known is written down, so after she’d gone through every book she could think of, she decided it was time to travel again.

Zelda spent the next few days warping from shrine to shrine, visiting the towns and villages across Hyrule, intermittently reporting back to Link and the medic on her progress. She started with the towns that had schools and libraries, but gradually expanded to the less-learned regions as well, talking with all the scholars and elders she could find, asking if they knew anything about killshrooms or the Elderly Child.

No one seemed to have any more information on either subject, although many were eager to help her. Impa recalled a tale similar to the one Muava had told, as did a very few elderly Hylians, but they could not tell her anything more about the Child’s identity. A few Zora told of a queen who had had dwarfism, and a human fisherwoman recalled a story of a child with a low voice, but neither of them seemed to have any connection to the other tales.

A Rito offered her an herb to cure the stomach cramps from a different poisonous mushroom. She took it home and fed it to Link, who promptly threw it up (apologizing, of course). A Goron gave her a mineral mixture that would “cure all ills,” but Link threw that up too. A human farmer insisted that placing a large radish under the mattress would cure fever, and Zelda tried it doubtfully, but all it did was make Link even more uncomfortable. A man with a live snail on his face said that the Elderly Child had murdered his whole family with killshrooms last week, but then his sister showed up and told him it was time to come home for dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly a week after Link had first fallen ill, Zelda found herself in the library once again, unsure of where else to turn. The cure existed; she knew it did, but no one could tell her what it was. It seemed she had read every book in Hyrule five times over, and now she was just going back to them once again in the futile hope that some new piece of information would stick out to her. Her eyes felt grainy, her neck and shoulders were cramping, and the tension that had been steadily rising in her chest seemed about to explode. Link was getting weaker. The amount of water he could keep down was getting smaller each day. She was running out of time; she _had_ to find the cure . . . but she couldn’t.

Zelda had always been a researcher. Even before the Calamity when she had been required to focus on her sealing power, it had felt like research was what she was really born to do. And now that the Calamity was over, she had finally been free to focus on it—to read and explore and tinker; to find answers to all her questions. And she had thrived in it. She loved information, loved solving the mysteries of the physical world. Whenever she encountered something she didn’t understand, she was always able to learn how it worked if she just tried hard enough.

But now, all the research she had poured herself into felt useless. Link’s life hung on the answer to this one simple question, and she could not find it. Zelda gripped the sides of her chair with shaking hands. She had done all she knew how, and it wasn’t enough. She had failed.

A strange thought suddenly crossed her mind. Was this how Link felt when he couldn’t help or defend anyone? Was that why he kept on apologizing? He had always been the strong one, the protector, the hero. Being unable to fill that role must have left him feeling the same way she felt now: worthless.

But that wasn’t who Link was to her. He was a hero, absolutely; but that wasn’t why she loved him. She loved him because he was a friend—no, not even just that—because he was Link. She loved the way he hummed to himself when he thought no one could hear. The way he held rupees up to the light as if their shine mattered more than their value. The way he picked extra apples for his horse; the way he spoke to children like adults. Even the way he fearlessly devoured any weird thing he found without a second thought.

If Link was still Link even without defending anyone, could she still be Zelda even without finding answers?

At first the thought seemed irrelevant. It certainly didn’t solve the problem at hand. But as Zelda considered it, something unexpected happened. All the urgency and frustration, the pressure and franticness, the _guilt_ she hadn’t realized was there—all of it seemed to dissolve inside her; and in its place came something else she hadn’t yet allowed herself to feel: a deep, crushing sadness. It wasn’t exactly a _better_ feeling, but it was different: somehow she felt like she was free to feel it, like she had permission to let it overwhelm her.

Zelda pushed the books aside, sank down to the library floor, and cried. She let the sobs shake her entire body for as long as they would come. And when she couldn’t cry any more, she did another thing that, for some reason, she hadn’t thought of doing until now: she begged the Goddesses to save Link’s life.


	3. The Tale of Chidia Who Lived with Humans

“How is he? Is his soul still with us?” Zelda entered Link’s room more softly than she had since his illness started. Since there was nothing more she could do, she had decided she just wanted to be with him during his final moments.

“It is,” answered the medic, “but I’m afraid the fever is taking him. He’s been slipping in and out of consciousness, but even when he’s awake he’s been muttering nonsense. Going on about cats and pirates and magic flutes . . . I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. He did wake up a little while ago and said he wanted to tell you something, but I still couldn’t tell what he was saying. He insisted on writing it down for you. After that he faded out again and hasn’t been awake since.”

Zelda sat on the bed beside Link’s unconscious form as the medic traded the cloth on his forehead for a freshly chilled one. She picked up the note from the bedside table, feeling reluctant to read it. It would probably be another apology, or a goodbye, or both—heart-wrenching no matter what. But as she squinted at Link’s feverish scrawl, she realized that it was neither of those things; rather, it was just a phrase.

“The tale of . . . something? . . . who loved—no, lived, with hom— . . . with humans,” she read.

“I wouldn’t read into it too much,” said the medic. “He wasn’t lucid.”

“The Tale of someone Who Lived with Humans,” Zelda repeated. “That sounds vaguely familiar. Like something I might have read a long time ago.”

“A folk tale, maybe?”

“That seems right, but . . . it can’t be. I’ve just been through every book of folk tales in the library. Anything I might have read as a child should be fresh in my memory right now . . . unless it was lost to the Calamity . . .”

“What about that one?” The medic gestured with her foot toward the floor under Link’s bed.

“Hmm?”

Zelda got up and saw that there was in fact a small, old book lying haphazardly under the bed, just within its shadow. She crouched down, picked it up, and read:

_Korok Folk Tales_

“The Koroks!” Zelda gasped. “Of course! Link was reading this the evening before we went to Kakariko; he must have taken it to bed with him and that’s why I never saw it in the library!” She sat down on the floor and flipped through the pages with the eagerness of someone opening a treasure chest. “Here it is!” she finally said, and began to read aloud:

_The Tale of Chidia Who Lived with Humans_

_Long, long ago, too long for anyone to count, the Koroks did not have bodies of wood, but of flesh like humans. When the world became too dangerous for them and they transformed into creatures of wood, most of them lost the recollection of their human forms. However, in the years that followed, there were a very few Koroks, only the most skillful and thoughtful, who kept the ability to transform between wood and flesh, and learned to do so at will._

_One of the last of these transformers was a clever Korok girl named Chidia. Though she lived long after the Transformation, she loved to learn of the days of old, and found that she still possessed the old talent which her siblings lacked. Being the only one in her forest able to take on human form, Chidia became fascinated with humans, and would often wander far from her home just to make sure that any human who got lost in the forest received her aid._

_One day, while in human form, Chidia struck up a conversation with a human whom she was helping find his way out of the woods. She became so engrossed that she followed him all the way to his village, where she found children of her own size playing in the square. Chidia began to play with the children, and they quickly became friends, but she did not tell them she was a Korok. In those days, many humans thought of Koroks as tricksters, so Chidia was afraid they would not trust her if they knew who she was._

_When dinnertime came and the children realized that she had no home nearby, a young brother and sister invited her to come home and eat with their family, and she accepted. The children’s mother and father were kind, and they welcomed her eagerly. Chidia was unused to human food, but she was so delighted to be welcomed by a human family that she ate it with a smile. After learning that her family was far away, the parents concluded that she must be a daughter of busy merchants who had little time for her and often left her alone to wander. Believing that all children deserve love and attention, they welcomed her to come back as often as she wished, and even to sleep in their home if she wanted to._

_Chidia was overjoyed. She had always dreamed of having a human family, but had never thought it could happen. She began to visit the humans often, for longer and longer periods, until eventually she was spending more time in the village than in the forest. Chidia still loved her Korok family and the Deku Tree, but when she explained to them how much she felt at home among the humans, they gave her their blessing to live there, as long as she would continue to visit the forest regularly._

_Of course, Chidia was grateful to her new human family, and she did not want to be a burden to them. So she made sure to help them in the garden, using the skill that all Koroks naturally have with plants. Their garden produced triple its usual crop that year, and continued to do so for as long as Chidia lived there._

_But despite how much she felt like a human, Chidia was not one. For humans grow old very quickly, whereas Koroks stay children throughout their entire long lives. Soon, she began to notice that the brother and sister, who had once been just her size, were getting taller, and their voices were changing. The parents, once young, were getting wrinkles around their eyes and streaks of grey in their hair. Soon, Chidia was the only small child in the family, and she began to feel lonely._

_This also did not go unnoticed by the family. They wondered why Chidia was not growing, and when she provided no explanation, they began to insist on taking her to a doctor. Finally, afraid of what might happen, she gave up and told them she was a Korok in human form. She explained that this was why she was so good at gardening, and she even showed them her wood form to prove that it was true._

_“I am sorry,” Chidia said. “I have lied to you, and I regret that, for you trusted me. I am the only Korok in my forest who can take on human form, and so I came here because I love humans. But I am not one. And now you may send me back to my own people, for I am not what you thought I was.”_

_“Chidia,” said her human parents, “do not say such things. We love you like our own daughter, and the fact that you are a Korok does not change that. If you want to return to your forest because you cannot grow old with us, you are free to do so. But please know that we will be happiest if you stay and continue to be our daughter.”_

_At this Chidia wept, and she told them she would always see them all as family no matter how old they grew. After that, she divided her year between the forest and the village, spending time with her two families and learning the wisdom of both Koroks and humans. She learned more about planting, herbs, and remedies, and she became very wise. The rest of the village thought it rather strange that she did not grow, but as she helped their crops prosper and showed kindness to both adults and children, they accepted her strangeness._

_Her human siblings continued to grow, and after a few more years they each married and moved into different houses. Chidia missed having them as playmates, but she was glad to have them as elders and to see how happy they were. Soon, however, they each had children of their own, and when those children grew old enough to play, Chidia found herself with siblings of her own size once again._

_So it continued for many human generations. Her original adoptive parents finally died, and she grieved them, but she had come to see her former siblings as new parents. And when their children grew up, they became like parents to her, and Chidia became playmates with their children. She found her life to be beautiful and bittersweet, feeling the loss of each generation that passed on, but having the joy of knowing each new generation and watching them grow up._

_One day, after many years, Chidia began to grow weak. This surprised her human family, for normally she was the one who knew the herbs to cure others’ illnesses. As she grew weaker and weaker, her human brother picked her up and carried her into the forest. He had to brave the dangerous Lost Woods, but she had just enough strength to tell him where to go, until finally he brought her to the Deku Tree himself._

_“O Great Deku Tree,” said the boy, “your daughter Chidia, my Korok sister, is ill, and we cannot find a cure. Please, can you tell me what herb or medicine will restore her health?”_

_“Nay, good lad,” replied the Deku Tree. “Chidia is not ill; rather, she is old. She has lived a long and blessed life, and has blessed many others as well. Now, it is time for her spirit to leave us.”_

_At this, the boy shed many tears, as did the other Koroks who were gathered around. Finally, he said to the tree, “I shall leave her here so she may die among her own people, and be buried according to your customs.”_

_“Nay,” said the tree once again. “Chidia is our relative, but she is yours as well. She should die among humans and be buried according to your customs, for it was among humans that her heart found its home.”_

_So the boy carried her back to his home, where she died. On the day of her burial, all of the village came out to mourn her, for she was very loved. Her Korok family loved her deeply as well, and they wished to pay their respects, but they were afraid that the humans would fear them or shoo them away if they were seen. So they arrived at the graveyard early and disguised themselves: an out-of-place stone here, a flurry of leaves there, a hole in the wall here, a mismatched flower there._

_The adults of the village noticed nothing at first, for they were being solemn. Children, however, are prone to playing even at inappropriate times. And Koroks, of course, are children too, so when the human children began to find their hiding places, they could not resist popping out to reward their curiosity. Soon, a great game of hide-and-seek broke out throughout the graveyard. Some of the adults found it disrespectful, but others, especially those who knew of Chidia’s lineage, joined in the game, saying, “What better way to honor the life of a child than through play?”_

_And so it was that humans began to realize that Korok mischief is not of the harmful type, but of the type that brings joy and wonder. And from that day forward, many Koroks started traveling throughout Hyrule to play hide-and-seek with humans, rewarding even adults for showing childlike curiosity._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zelda unexpectedly found herself blinking back more tears. She was unsure whether they were caused by the story itself, or thoughts of Link being the one to die, or relief at finding a next step, or amazement at how it had happened. Probably all of those things at once.

“Thank the Goddesses,” she mumbled as she wiped her eyes, standing up and slipping the book into her pocket along with the other one. “Please,” she said to the medic, “I know the elixirs are useless, but please just do anything you can to keep him alive another day. I have one more trip to make.”


	4. The Law of Opposites

As Zelda warped to the Keo Ruug Shrine, she was amazed, and a bit irritated with herself, to realize that she had never thought to ask the Deku Tree for advice. He was certainly one of the oldest beings in Hyrule, and probably one of the wisest, although she wasn’t sure exactly what his scope of knowledge encompassed. Perhaps he had slipped her mind because there was so little written about him. The Koroks themselves did not write much; even the book of folk tales had been written by a human scholar who based it on their oral traditions. And very few humans or other races ever made it to the Korok Forest, especially before the recent activation of the shrine, since it was surrounded by the formidable Lost Woods.

As she made her way from the shrine to the Deku Tree’s glen, she couldn’t help but smile as Koroks began to draw near out of curiosity. Several of the braver ones called out, “Hello, Miss Princess!” and she greeted them warmly in return. Zelda did not like to admit that she sometimes had trouble telling the little creatures apart, but when she saw the taller one with a ginkgo-leaf face and a mushroom on his head, she recalled that he was Chio, the elder.

“Welcome, Miss Princess!” he chirped. “What brings you to the forest today?”

“Good morning, Chio!” she said. “I’m here to speak with the Deku Tree.”

“Oh, he’s asleep,” said Chio. “He’s been asleep for the past few days. But he always wakes up when he’s needed!”

“Well, that’s good,” said Zelda. “I’m sorry to have to wake him, but it’s rather urgent so I’m sure he won’t mind.”

The Koroks gathered around her as she stepped into the glen and knelt before the great tree. She suddenly felt a bit unsure of what to say.

“Great Deku Tree,” she began, “please forgive my intrusion, but I have an urgent need for your help.”

There was no response.

“Great Deku Tree!” Zelda repeated, louder.

The tree continued to stand as still as a normal tree, silent except for a soft, rhythmic creak that resembled a snore.

“Chio, dear,” she said, “could you and your friends wake him up for me?” I’m not sure how.”

“We can’t wake him up,” said Chio. “It’s like I told you. He wakes up when he’s needed.”

“But I need him very badly!”

“I’m sorry to contradict you, Miss Princess,” said Chio, “but apparently you don’t. Because if you needed him, he would wake up.”

Zelda was about to argue that this didn’t make sense, but the more she tried to work out why it didn’t, the less reason she could think of for it not to. How irritating.

“Well,” she said when she finally gave it up, “perhaps one of you Koroks can help me. I’m looking for a cure for the poison from this mushroom.” She sat down on the ground and opened the poison book, and the crowd of Koroks peered eagerly at the old illustration. “Are any of you familiar with it?”

“Natie, you’re the mushroom expert,” said one of them. “Do you know it?”

“I’ve never seen one like that,” said Natie.

“It’s a very deadly mushroom that grows from decaying Malice,” Zelda explained. “I heard an old story about someone who was cured of it by a magician, and I came here because it seems that the magician was a Korok. Actually, it may have been a Korok from one of your stories—Chidia who lived with humans.”

“Oh, Chidia!” several Koroks twittered.

“We all know that story, Miss Princess,” continued one of them. “It’s one of the Deku Tree’s favorites! But Chidia wasn’t a magician. She was just really wise, and good at the Law of Opposites!”

“The Law of Opposites?” Zelda frowned. “What’s that?”

“The Law of Opposites!” squeaked Chio. “It’s one of the best ways to solve problems! See, when something is causing you trouble, you can’t just make it disappear. You have to get the opposite thing, to cancel it out. For example. If you have hate in your heart, you can’t just stop hating. You need to get love, and if you get enough love then the hate will go away, because love is the opposite of hate. Or if you have fear, you can’t just stop being scared. You need some trust, because trust is the opposite of fear.”

“Well, that’s good advice for things like love and trust,” said Zelda, “but those are intangible . . .”

“No, it works for other things too!” another Korok piped up. “See, yesterday Peeks slipped and fell, right over there, because the ground was too muddy. Well, what’s the opposite of mud? Stone! So we got a bunch of stones, and we put them in that part of the ground, and now it’s not slippery anymore.”

Zelda was still feeling very uncertain about this Korok logic. “Well, all right,” she said, “but then . . . what’s the opposite of a mushroom?”

The Koroks scratched their heads.

“You should ask Miki!” said the one who had spoken last. “He’s the best at the Law of Opposites. He’s really smart, and he practices it with the Deku Tree. He’s the one who figured out that stone is the opposite of mud.”

“All right,” said Zelda, looking around, “which of you is Miki?”

“He’s not here,” answered Natie. “He went to pick berries. But if you go right down that trail you’ll find him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The “trail” was not what Zelda would have called a trail. It was more like a slightly-wider-than-average space between the trees, and as she picked her way down it, she found it harder and harder to tell where it was and where it wasn’t. It also didn’t help that she was nearing the edge of the Koroks’ part of the forest, and mists were starting to swirl in the dimming light.

“Miki?” she shouted into the silence. “Miki! Are you out here?”

She suddenly noticed, just ahead of her, a bright yellow flower. As she approached it, it disappeared, and another one sprang up a few paces to her left.

“Miki! Is that you?” she called. “It’s Princess Zelda! Please come out!”

The second flower also disappeared before she could touch it, and a third popped up several yards away.

“Miki, please!” said Zelda with increasing irritation. “I need to speak with you! It’s urgent!”

When the third flower disappeared, Zelda looked around for the fourth, and found with great annoyance that it was on a tree branch high above her. Heaving a sigh, she made the climb with some effort, and finally sat down panting on the thick branch.

“Yahaha! You found me!” With a leafy twinkle, a small Korok with an orange maple-leaf face appeared on the branch next to her. “Hello, Miss Princess!”

Zelda’s temper suddenly got the better of her. “Miki! Why didn’t you come out when I asked you? I told you it was urgent, and still you make me climb all the way up here? Link is dying, he could die any minute, and I have to get him a cure before that happens! I can’t waste time like this!”

When she saw how quickly and genuinely Miki’s face fell from delight into shame and horror, she immediately regretted her words.

“Miki, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have chided you. It’s not your fault; you didn’t know. Please forgive me. I’ve been having a very hard week, but there was no need to take that out on you.” She reached out to wipe a tear from his face, and now found her finger sticky with sap.

“Mr. Hero is . . . dying?”

Zelda suddenly realized that, of all people, Miki was the first one whom she had actually told about the reason for her quest. “Yes, Miki, but I’ve come here because I think you might be able to save him.”

She told him all about how Link had gotten sick, and what she’d read about the killshroom; about Naqai and the Elderly Child, and how Link had remembered the Tale of Chidia; about the Law of Opposites, and how she didn’t really understand it. By the time she finished, Miki had scooted closer and was hugging her around the leg, and had shed enough tears for her to wonder how she was going to get the sap off her trousers.

“And Miki,” she finished, “I don’t want you to feel bad if you can’t save Link, because none of this is your responsibility, but I do hope you’re willing to try.”

“Of course I will,” said Miki, standing and perking up a little as he took a deep breath. “Now let’s see. The killshroom eats decaying Malice, right?”

“That’s right.”

“And Malice is liquid darkness, isn’t it?”

“Um . . . more or less, I suppose.”

“So what’s the opposite of darkness?”

“Light. So we need to give him light?” Zelda guessed doubtfully. Link had already seen light, and all it seemed to do was make his head hurt.

“No,” said Miki, starting to get excited. “The killshroom itself isn’t darkness. It grows where darkness used to be, so . . . it’s a _memory_ of darkness. And what’s the opposite of a memory?”

Zelda frowned. “Um . . .”

“The opposite of memory is anticipation!” Miki answered himself, too eager to wait for her to ponder. “So to cancel out the memory of darkness, you need the anticipation of light!”

He was now so excited that he was jumping up and down on the tree branch, staring at Zelda expectantly, as if it should be easy now for her to guess his meaning.

It wasn’t. “Anticipation of light,” she repeated, still thoroughly confused. “What does that mean?”

“BEAN LAMP SEEDS!” he exclaimed with delight, grabbing her hand and nearly pulling her off the branch before she caught herself. “Come on, let’s go get some!”

Zelda never would have guessed that a creature with such short legs could move so fast. After floating down from the tree on a leaf propeller, Miki skedaddled through the woods so quickly that twice Zelda had to call him back so as not to lose her way. But as the light grew brighter and the trail wider, Miki ran through one last hollow log and then stopped next to a curved plant with two pods of glowing yellow beans hanging from it.

“See?” he squeaked as Zelda came up puffing. “Each bean’s outer casing”—here he touched one gently—“glows with light to help the bean grow. It can’t develop without light. But then after the bean is full-grown”—now he searched around the rest of the plant—“the light goes out and the casing cracks open, because the bean it ready to plant. Here’s one!”

He pulled an unlit pod from the plant and held it up for Zelda to see. What she had thought were the beans were actually three round bean casings, each stuck to the inside of the pod, cracked open to reveal the actual beans inside them. Miki opened each casing further and shook the three greenish-tan seeds into Zelda’s palm.

“See, that right there is the anticipation of light. There’s no light in them now, but when you plant them, new bean lamps will grow! . . . But of course, this time you’re not going to plant them, because you’re going to feed them to Mr. Hero instead.”

Zelda crouched beside the Korok and looked into his lopsided eyes. “Miki, I can’t thank you enough. I’m still not sure I understand why this will work, but . . . I have hope that it will.”

“You’re welcome! Anything for you and Mr. Hero!” Miki beamed. “Do you have a bottle? We can fill it up with beans, in case he needs a lot of them, and we can soak them in water so they’re easier to swallow.”

“You think of everything, don’t you?” said Zelda. “Yes, let’s do just that.”

“Miss Princess?” asked Miki.

“Yes?”

“May I come with you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zelda had never warped two people at once before, but since Miki was not much bigger than a large knapsack, she was quite sure it would work. After warning him about the dizziness, she sat him on her shoulders and crouched down so as not to strain the warp range, and almost immediately the two found themselves at Hyrule Castle.

“Oh no,” said Miki suddenly. “Oh no, oh no, uh . . . Oh. I’m all right now.” He hopped down. “That was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever felt.”

They made their way to Link’s room, and just before she opened the door Zelda was hit by a wave of panic over the thought that Link very well could be dead already. But she took a deep breath and entered, and was relieved to find his face still uncovered and the medic still tending him.

“Can you sit him up?” she asked. “We need him to swallow something.”

The medic sighed wearily. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. If he vomits while he’s unconscious, he’ll choke.”

“Please,” said Zelda, “I know he hasn’t kept anything else down, but this is our last hope of saving him.”

The medic sighed again and propped Link up on his side against the pillows. Zelda hesitated as she looked at his limp form, but Miki seemed to know exactly what to do. Without a word, he took the bottle of beans from her and hopped up onto the bed beside Link. Uncorking it, he pulled out one soaked bean and set the rest down on the bedside table. He opened Link’s mouth and carefully positioned the bean on his tongue. Then he pressed his mouth closed, tilted his head forward, and gently touched his throat.

Link swallowed.

Miki repeated the process with five more beans, finally saying that Link couldn’t have eaten more mushrooms than that. They all waited for several minutes that seemed to Zelda like hours. Part of her expected him to throw up again, or else just die on the spot. But neither of those things happened; instead, he just lay still. After a while, however, sweat beads began to break out on his forehead, so much that soon they were running down his face. Then, after another minute, he stirred and opened his eyes.

Some silly, romantic part of Zelda had hoped that if Link woke up, the first thing he would say would be her name. But as it happened, the only thing in Link’s field of vision at that moment was the expectant face of a Korok. So, naturally, the first words he rasped out were:

“Found you!”

Miki was so excited that, with a squeak, he jumped right over Link and started hopping up and down on the other side of the mattress. This allowed Link to see the rest of the room, and his eyes met hers.

“Zelda.”

There it was. Zelda threw her arms around him, heedless of the sweat that drenched his body.

“Link. Oh, thank the Goddesses! Are you all right? How do you feel?”

“A lot better. Thirsty. Could I have some water? Zelda, why are you crying?”

“Link, I was so sure I was going to lose you again.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “Well, you haven’t. I’m going to be all right.” He paused. “But even if you had, I know you’d be fine without a bodyguard. You’re strong and you’re wise.”

“What? Don’t be silly!” Zelda might have been angry if she hadn’t been so happy. “Of course I’d be fine without a bodyguard. But not without you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took Link a few days to regain his strength, and his stomach could only handle small meals at first, but it seemed to Zelda that in an odd sort of way he recovered from the ordeal faster than she did. She slept nearly all day for two days, and even after that she found herself very tired and disinclined to make decisions. One evening she wandered out to watch the sunset, and Link, newly out of bed, found her up on the castle wall.

“Hello,” he said.

“Well, look who’s up and about. Hello.”

He leaned on the parapet beside her. “So I was thinking, and . . . I want to let you know something.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been . . . saying I’m sorry a lot,” he stumbled, rubbing his neck, “but . . . what I really should have been saying is . . . thank you.”

“Link . . .”

“I’ve gotten to help people with a lot of things,” he continued, “and when I do, they always thank me. It’s not fair for me to hog all the thanks. I owe other people a chance to be thanked too. And you deserve it. So, thank you.”

“Link, don’t thank me,” said Zelda. “I couldn’t even figure out the cure. Thank Miki, and Muava, and Rotana and Ashai, and Chio and all the Koroks, and the Deku Tree, and Impa, and the medic, and . . . the Goddesses.”

Link chuckled. “I intend to thank each of them,” he said. “But I want to thank you too. Not just for your hard work—which you did a lot of—but for being there. For being you.

“Zelda, I could have died way before you and Miki brought me those beans. I felt death pulling me, but I fought it. At first I fought it because I’m supposed to be your bodyguard, but then I realized how strong and wise you are, so you don’t really need one. Once I didn’t have that to hold onto, I almost let go. It was pulling me so hard. But then I remembered that I just . . . wanted to see you. I didn’t want to leave you, not because you need me, but . . . because I just didn’t want to.

“Zelda, I’m still alive because of you. Not just because of what you did. Because of you.”

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks so much for reading all the way to the end of my first fanfic ever! I hope you all enjoyed it! I've been thinking of drawing an illustration or two for it. If that's something you'd be interested in, let me know in the comments which scene or moment you'd most want to see a drawing of. Thanks again!!!
> 
> Update: The illustrations are finished! See them here: https://lightmotif139.tumblr.com/post/638258351661367296/two-illustrations-for-my-botw-fanfic-dubious-food  
> ~ charaboogity


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